Oh

Like when
I found out I was smarter than you I
was not smug, it did not
feel good. I felt
the floor fall a little,
the wind blow a little and
sound stopped in my ears.
Time went elastic and
I bounced,
I said inside, oh.
If it turns out well
it's up to me.

Maybe
that's why my shoulders
have always been
so strong.
That's not to say
it went well.
You are both buried
and while mine was just
a flesh wound,
I still finger it whenever I
find myself saying, oh.

Twenty five years and
you can still pull
my yarn, I blame
our triangle on every Joe
I'm smarter or stronger
or quicker than.
Or think I am.

I will not
carry them
as I did you.

Hot, twisting, I slam
the Joes who didn't
know you, don't know
they are also
paying for you.

Did your best? Code for:
I had to do the rest.
Can you hear
The acid tapping of
my not-forgiveness?

I pull my own yarn
finger my own wound
until it bleeds again.

If I am smarter, how
can the dead still beat me.
Wake up, the dead say.
We can only speak if
you mouth the words.